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Say what you mean: forceful communication tips
Balance clarity, confidence, and kindness, and consideration are essential elements of effective communication. When it comes to expressing your thoughts and opinions, there are pros and cons to consider. On the one hand, if you remain silent, your team may end up adopting a flawed idea. On the other hand, if you speak up, you risk facing repercussions, hurting someone’s feelings, or gaining a reputation as a harsh critic.
Assertive communication is about finding a middle ground. It allows you to express your viewpoints while also respecting the feelings and perspectives of others. When you communicate assertively, you are direct and explicit in your communication, while also being diplomatic and considerate of others’ emotions.
The act of speaking assertively lies between being passive and aggressive in your communication style. By comparing forceful speech with passive or hostile behavior, you can see the advantages of assertive communication in various situations.
Consider this scenario: your teammate is late with an essential report. There are three possible responses that you could have:
1. Passive: “Did you have enough time to finish your report? If not, I can work around it.”
2. Assertive: “Your report section is late. I’m concerned because we need to finish and deliver this to the leadership team by Thursday. What time and date will it be finished?”
3. Aggressive: “You’re late with this report and delaying the project. It’s unacceptable that you consistently do this.”
Looking deeper into aggressive communication, it is clear that it does not shy away from conflict like passive communication does. While it clearly communicates the issue and your thoughts, it does so without accusing or attacking the other person.
It’s important to note that aggressive communication is not always the best approach in every situation. Communication is a complex and personal act, and different situations and people may require different communication techniques.
The 3 Cs of assertive communication are:
1. Clear: Express your thoughts and feelings without sugarcoating them.
2. Confident: Speak and behave with confidence.
3. Considerate: Be mindful of others’ feelings and perspectives, even when discussing difficult issues.
The advantages of assertive communication are manifold. It promotes open discourse and psychological safety within a team, leading to better conflict resolution, reduced misunderstandings, and stronger boundaries and expectations. By embracing a more assertive communication style, each team member can improve their communication skills and collaboration.
However, there are challenges associated with assertive communication, particularly for women in the workplace. Gender bias can impact how assertiveness is perceived, with women often facing greater criticism and punishment for displaying assertive behaviors compared to men.
To navigate assertive communication effectively, it’s crucial to:
1. Understand your own thoughts and feelings before expressing them.
2. Use “I” statements to take ownership of your thoughts and feelings.
3. Be mindful of your body language, as nonverbal cues can convey assertiveness.
4. Show emotional intelligence by being aware of others’ feelings and perspectives.
5. Practice active listening to ensure that your message is received effectively.
In conclusion, assertive communication is a powerful tool for clearly expressing your thoughts and opinions while maintaining respect for others. By honing your assertive communication skills, you can enhance your ability to communicate effectively and foster positive relationships within your team.
